My First Phone

When I was in middle school I really really wanted my own phone and phone line in my room. I begged my parents for my own phone for months. Finally my birthday came around and I knew this was the day my wish would come true. When it was time to open presents I looked for the medium sized, rectangular box and ripped open the wrapping paper.. my parent’s faces lit up with glee as I stared at the present angrily. It was a build your own phone set.

The set came complete with cords, buttons, and wires, and a cardboard casing to stuff it all inside once the assembly was complete. So, not only was my birthday gift made of Cardboard, but I had to assemble it myself... yea I was pissed! First off, if your ideal gift is a phone you are not much of a craftsman. Second off, that’s just dangerous.. “Hey, lets have our dimwitted 15 year old son build a phone out of cardboard that he will probably assemble half-assedly and then use for 5 hours a day”. Basically, nothing good was coming out of this gift. My father once got my mom a bug zapper for mother's day, so I am guessing he was the brain child behind this extraordinary gift as well.

If anything, I felt like my parents were mocking me. Maybe it was because they were laughing their asses off as I stormed angrily into my room. My parents eventually got me a real phone and it was sweet (see through casing – assembly not required).

I think the moral of this story is that I am definitely fucking with my kid when/if I have one. Because looking back on if from their perspective it was pretty funny..